I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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