A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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