what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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