I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have tasted many bathrooms
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
