Apparently you make a good broom.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
