Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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