she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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