do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
