You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
