Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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