Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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