I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
And then he peed in my hair
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