I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
