I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
