I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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