I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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