Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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