I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He felt like a one man threesome
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
