if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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