Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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