porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You're like the curious george of whores
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
