she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize