K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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