There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
