I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
