I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
