well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
