so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
