he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
