just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
