Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You were trust falling into bushes
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