Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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