There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
