I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
