If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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