I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
