This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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