It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
