i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
