its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize