first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
