Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you win again, gameday.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
