You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
