My hand turned me down
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
