im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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