so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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