apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
