Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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