i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize