...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
