He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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