just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
