So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
