you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize