hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize