So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
