Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
