I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
