garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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