i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
