Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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