You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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