she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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