i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
