I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
