You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
